One of My Biggest Dreams Ruined

As my brother have been talking about his dreams, or lucid dreaming, I’ll talk about a dream I once had. It ain’t one filled with sex as per usual, but it’ll rock your boat and get you wet, alright? (Though, maybe, not the good kind of wet)

When I was a kid I had this dream about being in the Super Mario Bros.-movie (from 1993). I can’t honestly say why, but that movie always made me happy and made me want to play more of the great video games that ruled Earth back then when the grass was green and the air wasn’t polluted with emo-kids.

A few days ago I finally got it on DVD and saw it the same evening. Whatever the movie did give me, whatever the feeling or whatever the thing was - it’s absolutely gone now. It’s been wiped of my memory by a razor blade sharper than a barber’s best. I don’t know what to think of the world anymore. It’s everything about it, the movie I mean. To say that the ending track “Almost Unreal” (Roxette) was fitting, is a huge understatement. The movie has no depth at all. At all.

Well, what did I expect? It is, after all, a movie based solely on a 2D 8-bit italian plumber that was created in Japan. It still annoys me how a game like Tomb Raider got such a “realistic” moovie (though Lara Croft’s butler didn’t get to taste the warm hard bullets - infinite amount of ammo I may add - as he does in the games) and all Mario got was a lousy waste of time and money. (Only time for me since I didn’t pay for the movie, though…)

The single conclusion I got to, was that the Mario-world (not the game for SNES, I’m thinking about the WORLD where Mario exists) was just too great to handel, or at least too far out to create a movie out of. Damn I wish I had a real NES-box with Super Mario Bros right now. I’d whip King Koopa’s (later renamed to Bowser) ass into the lava and save the Princess again and again till I drop dead on the floor, shouting “Why, Annabel Jankel?! Why, Rocky Morton and those two uncredited directors, WHY DID YOU MAKE SUCH A LOUSY MOVIE?!” with my last breath of air. Then I’d be remembered for the guy who died from playing Super Mario Bros. for six straight weeks.

Though I’m heading out to get drunk in a park. I’ll have to avoid the cops so I won’t get a 2000 NOK fine for enjoying the sun with a beer or two. Have a nice weekend.