NELFs Are And Always Will Be Gay

I just hate those gorramn night elves. They’re the real ABOMINATION, not the unit on Undead’s team! Gharr, I wish they’d just fall over and die because of their gayness. I mean, even the fucking trees are gay, smiling their semi-content smile all day and night long without ever being scary. Hell no, they are scary. In the Look-At-Me-I-Am-Gay kind of way.

First of all you’ve got the heroes:
DH: One blind maniac running around with two swords he should not be running around with. And he’s got a strong fetish for stabbing himself when his hitpoints reaches zero. The only awesome ability he’s got is putting himself on fire. Way to go, DH! That’ll scare them to death. Seriously.

POTM: A priestess armed with a bow, riding on a white tiger. Now hold on there! A priestess? A spiritual guidance counselor armed with a bow (infinitive arrows btw!)? Turns out there’s nothing against killing, especially neutral creeps, as long as they don’t share the same religion, eh priestess?

KOTG: An elk-thingy that’s soo gay that when it starts moaning and moaning, healing piss from the gaynelfs’ gods starts pouring down all around him. Healing Piss.

Warden: A lady wearing vigilante-clothing and is entitled warden. Sounds sexy.

Second, there’s the units:
Gay gay gay gay gay gay gay. I can’t stop telling you how gay nelf’s units are. It’s like if they went into a gay bar the really gay people would say “OMG HOW GAY THEY ARE!”.

Another thing to point out about the gaynelfs is that their peon, the Wisp, is that it actually knows how gay the rest of his team is. He’s got a suicide button – DETONATE.

Last and least:
Haltemien plays and loooooves the NELFs. He’s gay and I got to learn it the hard way. I mean, I thought that when he’d asked me out for dinner and a couple of AT-games that’d be it, you know? I wasn’t expecting the Spanish Inquisition…

…darn.

Happy Birthday H, You Gaynelf!