Answering Spam Mails

I’ve had it. It’s been bothering me for a time now; the spam mail. It just pours in like a tsunami on a beach in Thailand and it won’t stop. And it probably never will.

Besides that, I thought I’d like to actually answer these poor-in-grammatics written mass-mails. So here goes some one-liners:

Spam Mail #1:

From: Jennie K. Locke (Jennie@wgint.com)
Message: I just started having sex, and my boyfriend keeps popping out when we do it.

Answer: Dump him and get over here, you silly cow.

Spam Mail #2:

From: Buford Tracy (quitesv333@izu.co.jp)
Message: Re: work status

Answer: Working on it. Cheers!

Spam Mail #3:

From: Arturo Scott (itsmyround.net@worldwideflavors.com)
Message: Beware of fake pills

Answer: Thanks, champ. I’ll keep that in mind when I do my groceries.

Spam Mail #4:

From: Karin Esposito (a-7b@abettrway.com)
Message: He canceled his MySpace account.

Answer: You should stick with him, Karin. He’ll probably knock some smarts into you too.

Spam Mail #5:

From: Cornell Winston (kuddivittorionel@divittorio.org)
Message: Begin second youth in your life!

Answer: Wait—what?! I haven’t even ended my first youth yet. Man you guys are pushy.