Goddamnit I Am 1337!

So, alot of nerds and gamers (”as such”, as Miss South Carolina would add to any answer) wear t-shirts from PurePwnage and the like. You know, gamer shirts with nintendo-controllers and some puke-coloured hoodie that says “I AM NERD” in noisy, unfriendly letters. You get the idea - right?

Those people don’t deserve to wear them. Not like I do, as a matter of fact. Now let me tell you, I am a goddamn 1337 über gosu gamer. I really am.

Why? Because I finished Final Fantasy XII while asleep! Ever heard anyone else do that? Ex-fucking-actly. SPOILER WARNING - Now let me tell you; when I continued on my FFXII-savegame yesterday, my physical me was exhausted. But since I wanted to clear that goddamn huge friggin’ tower (the one near the end with the three keepers), I kept on playing while in bed. I then cleared the tower - it was more a run-through than actually fighting the monsters - and decided to keep on playing.

Now imagine sitting in front of a TV screen and the only thing your body want, is rest. The same goes for your mind. But since you don’t want to miss out on what’s on, you strive to keep on watching. That’s how I felt last night.

So then I got to the Bahamut, which was a great dissapointment since it wasn’t the large black dragon it usually is. Perhaps it says something about the writers of FFXII, I don’t know and neither do I try to find out. I then started to look for a save crystal, since I was half asleep anyway. Then it happened.

As the fight against Vayne Solidor - last boss, I believe - was halfway through, some cheesy sequenses started and I feel asleep. Oh, I slept and I dreamed. I dreamt of naked girls running on a summer-ish field filled with grass with me giving chase while wearing a moose outfit - or something somewhat like that. I think.

When I fell asleep the clock was about 03:30 in the morning - 3 AM for the retards - and when I woke up it was 7-ish something. I’d been asleep for six and a half hours and the only reason I woke up, was because the TV was still on. And in my right hand, I still held the PS2 controller. Like some sort of Gamer Army soldier or something…I think.

And on the TV screen? A nice white looking font - the kind of font that says ‘thank you’ without saying it - that said: THE END.

I had finished Final Fantasy XII while sleeping. Now that’s even better than the regular Japanese kids, innit? That’s how awesome of a gamer I really am. I sincerely do hope you’ll now understand the lack of respect I pour unto you, since you’re unable to grasp how amazing and great I really am. I’ll wear my Über Micro t-shirt tomorrow, perhaps, since I deserve to wear it.