Argentina Terrorized By Gnome – WTF?!

As I’m reporting here as one of Midget Control – a mobile squad of midget hunters, which I just invented – I’m here to talk about the gnome which has been terrorizing, if I’m even allowed to use such a word, people in the Salta province of Argentina. Now I know that if you’re reading this for the first time it sounds a bit awkward, realising that we’re talking about a gnome here, and not a midget/dwarf. I got some thoughts on this subject, oh yes indeed…

First of all, a gnome? I mean, those are weaklings compared to midgets, their taller ’small siblings’. You can’t chuck a midget, but a gnome can fly for yards upon yards if the proper thrust is given with a foot. Left or right of your choosing.

Second, terrorizing? I mean, what the fuck?! Is the little bugger wearing an AK-47 or hijacking airplanes? I think not. No, in fact, as the article itself says:

Suddenly we heard something – a weird noise as if someone was throwing stones.

…which I wouldn’t find terrorizing at all. Not even if it was larger-than-me rocks it’d thrown. No sirre! There are times when the title-makers of The Sun and other tabloid newspapers just should’ve been lined up and executed – Flying Gnome Style.

And another thing which makes me annoyed as beggars and whores do when it’s Easter and no business people is around to help them out with their financial problems, is that when these mythical creatures are filmed it’s either (a) a mobile phone with video recording software, or (b) the guy who records it can’t stand still or zoom properly at all. If I’d see a little terrorist gnome out on the streets, I’d run up to him and hold him down. I mean, how much can these people weigh? Not more than me, for sure…

Well, I got to get some sleep. And you need to read some more about this gnome, before your head-a-splodes. Good night.

Related links:
Creepy Gnome terrorizes town … (thesun.co.uk)
No No Gnome (Cryptomundo.com)