Posted on April 16th, 2008 - 2:50 pm - 13 comments
It must have been one of the more intriguing discussions I had last Sunday while at work at the Mail center. My colleague brought up this very important topic which made us debate for at least 40 long minutes. We didn’t come to any conclusion, and I thought it would be good to continue the debate here:
When blind people are finished taking a shit, how do they know they’ve wiped everything off? Some colleagues and I came up with some suggestions, and I really hope you do too…
Blind people count a lot of everything; when walking the streets, or counting seconds in an elevator to get to the right floor. When you’re a veteran shitter, you’ve got a certain feel on when your done with wiping. My initial thought, and with minor adjustment, it became my flagship-argument in this international debate of ours:
Blind people at young age (if born blind, or when blinded) need to learn to count their wipes with the help of a person, so they can train in their own feel of wipe when they get older. After that they’re what I like to call independent wipers.
A colleague of mine got it into his head that they’d do something with the smell, as it is a well-known fact that blind (or other disabled people) got their other senses somewhat increased. We could all agree on the increased-senses-idea, but when it came to how they utilize it, the debated raved on once again.
One colleague insisted that blind people would just do a couple of wipes, then - when unsure - would do a scrape-wipe (not gentle at all) on a piece of toilet paper and then do a swift sniff on it. Of course anything you’d scrape-wipe on your ass would get some scent on it, right? But with increased senses a blind person could detect the strength of the odour, hence the amount of shit on the toilet paper.
Another colleague had the same train of thought, but instead of using toilet paper, he pointed out the use of a finger. Combined with a soft-wipe (gentle touch) instead of a scrape-wipe. When you do get shit on your finger, you do get shit on your finger.
This one was strongly supported, seeming it was the only suggestion where the use of eyes was mentioned. Still, needing a person - especially one with a strong stomach - to tell you when you’re done wiping your ass might be a somewhat bothersome process. I believe this method is used by nurses and caretakers (not when they shit, but their patients).
Another counter-argument on this suggestion would be when using a public restroom, and the blind person’s helper (or ass-visualizer) is the opposite gender of the blind person. Then it’d be a really troublesome affair…
Tags: discussion, haha
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Sigg3:
Hahaha!
This post is great! More so since I’m reading it on the john. Don’t think I’ll close my eyes when it comes to the great finale though.
#1: April 16th, 2008 - 5:07 pm
Sigg3:
btw, on one mentioned the seeing dog..
But that apart my guess is that they simply sit a while, before applying what I will here refer to as The Feel.
#2: April 16th, 2008 - 5:09 pm
Sigg3:
then again, dogs will lick anything..
#3: April 16th, 2008 - 5:10 pm
koew:
Dang. Why didn’t anyone bring up the dogs? Why didn’t even I think of it? Must be because my head is still clogged up with some animal rights sheit. I still really can’t get it out of me head.
I guess a dog would’ve made it as clean as a shaved hamster. And I looooove the feel of shaved hamsters.
#4: April 16th, 2008 - 5:17 pm
haltemien:
QQ
#5: April 16th, 2008 - 8:56 pm
Timmey:
um, how bout just going at it like 30 times, I don’t care how bad your stomach was that day, 30 times and it gotta be gone…
#6: April 17th, 2008 - 3:44 am
koew:
Of course, setting a default wipe number would be an idea, but as high as 30 would - as I see it - clog up the toilet. Then the blind person would get drenched in urinated shit-water. The bathroom floor too, which some would consider a minus of the whole going-to-the-toilet thing.
While we’re on this subject, I feel like writing. Something. Anything, except from shit.
#7: April 17th, 2008 - 10:25 am
sjukheit:
Ifeel you have overlooked an important aspect: The ass-rub-test. If one after a fair number of wipes simply get up from the toilet and allow the butt-cheeks to come into contact with each other, it will become apperant if the wipe-job was satisfactory. Any moisture will be sensed by the butt itself.
Also, I would like to argue that it is possible to fine tune the senses in the asshole until you simply can tell when it is clean. It may even be a skill easily developed, but ironicly overlooked by those who can see.
So, in my opinion, the use of the ass itself as a measuring instrument is very under-estimated in these types of discussions.
#8: April 17th, 2008 - 10:52 am
Sigg3:
Sjukheit has got a point. But of course if you’re drunk or have been sitting for a while your ass is all numb and it will take some physical movement (walking around) before you’ll notice that you didn’t do a proper job. I think it is time for someone to invite their blind friend(s) to this brainstorm.
I really like how this debate is developing.
#9: April 17th, 2008 - 10:57 am
koew:
Sometimes, when I’ve been sitting on the toilet while reading comics or what have you, my legs tend to lose blood pressure and go numb. If I don’t do anything about it then, like getting finished with the business and get up, I might lose the legs, you know? Or even worse just fall over and get shit spread all over me and the floor.
It ain’t as easy and cheery taking a dump these days. You gotta think on cancer ‘n shit. Not like the old days, by a long shot.
And yes, I would sincerely love to get a blind person, or a blind person’s friend to comment on this subject. Maybe even a blind person’s friend’s friend.
#10: April 17th, 2008 - 11:03 am
Sigg3:
I once saw a blind man on TV and I think he would agree.
#11: April 17th, 2008 - 12:59 pm
koew:
Yeah? Well that’s nothing compared to this: Once a blind man saw me on TV, and shat himself. While standing upright. Later on that day I got laid by this Jessica Alba lookalike, and Chuck Norris almost gave me a nod. Almost.
#12: April 17th, 2008 - 1:42 pm
Sigg3:
That some deep shit right there.
#13: April 18th, 2008 - 10:52 pm