I Can Finally Become a HULC ™!

I just came from the bathroom, wearing nothing but my boxer shorts, and I realised one thing: I love myself. Like, I just stood there in awe, studying myself in the mirror. I felt like masturbating. Instead of getting hot ‘n wet ‘n all that, I sat down with my computer.

I whipped up a new tab on my browser, and started going through my regulars – like the news-hungry maniac that I am. Then I found it; like when Indiana Jones discovered the Mythical Clitoris in the Adult version of Rapers of the Lost Ark:

Berkely Bionics are now accepting pre-orders for its prototype exoskeleton the Human Universal Load Carrier – the HULC (similar to the ExoClimber, at right). For gadget-freaks, this is like finding that rare piece of Asian puke pornography, or something equal to that. Insane and unbelievable. It’s like having this personal visit from God, then it turns out it wasn’t God, but your mailman and he wasn’t just being nice.

But this is just a small step for man, but a giant leap for man with the HULC attached. I mean, what’ll be the next step? Metal Gear? Shogo: MAD? Huge, towering mechas fighting for control over a city? Is it enough to pray, or do we have to pay? There’s always hope, at least.

In the meantime, check out this video of the HULC in use. If you want to read more about it, check out Berkley Bionics HULC-page. What’s your favourite robot/mecha?