Stock Market Crisis (Was I Too Late?)

New York City, September 29th 2008; the sun is shining down on Central Park, where, near the Harlem Meer, a boy is playing with a ball on the grass. He kicks it too hard and the lands on the pavement. He runs towards it, but stops as soon as he notices a man standing right next to the ball.

The boy then moves towards the ball, but then stops as the man sqauts down and picks up the ball. He lifts it up and holds it toward the boy, who then walks slowly towards the young man. He then snaps the ball out of the young man’s hands.

The man signals to the boy for him to come closer, which the boy does, and then the man gently takes hold of the boy’s shoulders. He then starts shaking the boy furiously, yelling “WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU SO HAPPY? HAVEN’T YOU HEARD THE NEWS?!”. The boy starts crying, which, the man believes, he deserves.

The man continues, “The House of Congress rejected the $700 bn. rescue package! Wall St. went down 777 points! International stock markets have flailed downwards, and is currently so unstable that oil prices itself fell! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!! DO YOU?”, while shaking the crying boy.

The boy shakes his head, all in tears and snot. “The Norwegian kroners just lost strength versus the American Dollar!”, the man goes on, “AND I JUST SPENT ABOUT $900 ON THINGS I DON’T REALLY NEED! WHAT, THE, FUCK, GIVES?!”.

After a few seconds of boy-shaking, the man lets go of the boy and stands up. He adjusts his shirt, looks briefly around himself, then starts walking away from the scene. The boy is left in shock and wonder about what just happened.

…I spent about $900 on things I don’t really need, but then again I’ve worked for the money myself and I do like to treat me with something nice. Like a pint o’ Guinness, for instance.