Whorevertising – The Prostitute Solution

The new prostitution-laws in Norway have got me thinking. You just can’t get rid off prostitution. I’ve got the perfect solution: Whorevertising. It goes like this:

1. Large corporations takes over the prostitution business
2. Sponsored whores start selling advertisement in order to lower prices
3. This creates a price war in the market
4. It’s legalised, meaning more customers

Taking it further, consider the following example:

You’re a customer. You pay the sweet-looking Cindy for a blowjob. This costs you a regular €15, before whorevertising. Some large company starts sponsoring, cutting the price down to €10. A third-party sponsored service equals cheaper serivce.

There’s a catch to it, right? Product placement. She’s going down on you. Doing the works. Polishing your Junior. Then, right before you reach climax, she pulls your member out and says something like:

“This blowjob was sponsored by [company] – [company slogan]“. Then you come all over her face, or inside her mouth – depending on your preferences. You’d remember that company, now, wouldn’t you?

This also creates a whole new level of market: The Premium Customer Club. Premium customers can choose between either reduced price or sponsor-removal. Like when you pay for a webservice that’ll remove advertisement when logged in.

The future with Whorevertising

Following my train of thought, the future can look brighter than it it does now. All thanks to whorevertising! For instance, you’ll get:

• Less STDs: Since the companies’re sponsoring, they’ll introduce condoms with company logos. Since the business is legal, non-desperate people start working. Those people are also clean, uninfected. Thus less STDs over the years (see graph).
• Lower prices: Due to competition (hey, companies might start doing bonuses ‘n shit!) the prices would hit bottom. Lower prices makes happier customers.
• Preserving the Job: The oldest job in the world, they say. Through whorevertising it would’ve been preserved for centuries! I’d like to see a museum do that.

I bet you can think of more. And people say I shouldn’t think so much…