Life-Sharing Communities - Share THIS!

I’m exceptionally tired. Exhausted, as a matter of fact. Drained of energy and effectiveness, even though I’ve had four cups of coffee. I haven’t had anything to eat yet, but that’s not where the blame is to be put. I blame the so-called “new” life-sharing-community-sites!

Of course I’m talking about sites such as Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Jiuka (typo? whatever, retard) and almost all sites listed on Go2Web20. They require lots of activity and they’ve become a nuisance. At work, school, home, at friends’ place, at the toilet - heck! - even in bed. And once you’ve entered a community, you can’t leave it. The creators got a firm and legit grip around your balls through their EULA and TOS that - now bear with me on this one - 99% of the users just skip to get to the REGISTER NOW!-button. “Thank you for signing up on Facebook. It’s also hilarious that you’ve given us the right to distribute all your information to whoever gets to us first with a shitload of cash. Have a nice day!”

Even the character Michael Corleone (played by Al Pacino) had his to say about the life-sharing-communities in the movie Godfather (part III):

Just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in.

A guy once said (no, not Guy) that he wanted a MMO that was more realistic. Like he’d want to play another character in this wretched world, where we strive every day just to get home and be entertained by crappy tv-shows till we fall asleep in the couch, drooling like maniacs. If I’d play that kind of game, I’d be myself since I kick ass anyways. Anyways, back to the guy. Instead of waiting for such a ridiculous game, I’ll come with my suggestion: Register on 3-5 online communities, like Facebook, MySpace, whatever and try to maintain an online activity for about a week. It’s impossible. In fact, if Chuck Norris would’ve tried he’d just roundhouse kick the computer - killing not only the creators of the communities but also their families - just out of pure awesomeness. Like a MMO, the online communities nowadays require so much time if you want to maintain “highest possible level” - and there ain’t no way to cheat either. Unless if you’d pay a chinese kid to update your moods, status and write silly comments on photographs.

What ever happened to the good old forums, bulletin boards and - even simpler - personal homepages? Call me old-fashioned, but the truth is that we don’t need this shit, not at all. Want to meet someone you went to school with? Give them a call, or contact their family for Christ’s sake! And on a homepage you can tell people to go fuck themselves without care. It’s excellent. In fact, I’ll buy the rights to that idea, so if anyone gets the idea of creating their own homepage, instead of joining gazillions of community-sites, I’ll earn a couple of bucks. But people in general don’t tend to think that far. I see it as a lost cause…

So check out my Twitter/Facebook/MySpace-plugin. I call it “What Is koew Thinking Right Now?” and what it does is: it harvests alot of information, e-mail adresses and pictures together in a large database. Then it puts the database in a blender, and a computer generated thought is portrayed by an artist who drinks the Database Smoothie. This is what’s on my mind right now:

Go ahead. Run “home” (or home.php?) to your communities and cry like babies. Set your mood to “depressive” or “suicidal” for all I care, become a emo-kid and photograph yourself from wierd angles to show the world how hard it’ll be for us without you in it. Jesus-fucking-Christ! I’m tired and at work. I’m going home as of…now!