Meriadoc Christ Mas Folk!
Sunday, December 24th 2006 @ 4:13:37pm (Category: News)
I'm sitting at my uncle and aunt's place, typing this. It'll be short, as it is soon time to start cooking dinner, taking hellalot of pictures and opening presents...well at least my uncle and aunt's children will be opening presents, and maybe I'll open one. If one is assigned to me.By this time, my girlfriend eMili is sitting at her grandparents place, eating something "christmassy". I'll want to say this to her: Merry christmas baby, and I'll see you soon darling. Love yeh!
To the rest of you, be it family, friends, hardcore fans or just random visitors:
SHOULDN'T YOU BE CELEBRATING
WITH YOUR FAMILY RIGHT NOW? JESUS!
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Eragon pwnd by morons.
Thursday, December 14th 2006 @ 5:18:13pm (Category: News)
I'm in one of my worst hangovers right now. It was Christmas party at work yesterday, and some of us, including me, started drinking a bit earlier. Without deepening the story, I'll just say I had a great time before my body turned against me. It was like one of those moments you feel like time stands still in a small area around you, but you can hear voices like they're channeled through a tunnel of some sorts. Then suddenly you wake up, finding yourself lying on the 2mx1m bathroom floor, hugging the toilet for what it's worth. I'm not revealing more than that, but let's say someone will remember me, and not just me.And there might be pictures...
So what's this Eragon and why was it pwnd by morons?
Eragon (IMDB) is actually a book, which was written by a 15-year old american boy. He started writing it when he was 15, but it wasn't finished before he turned 19. It's one of those standard Boy-who-lives-in-fantasy-world-has-secret-magical-powers-and-a-dragon-story so if you're going to read it, don't. I'm not against fantasy at all, it's just that what could ever be good fantasy written by a 15-year old? I mean shouldn't he be a american football star or a nerd crawling the web for A) Rumours on WoW:TBC or B) Porn instead of sitting at home, writing fantasy books?
The answer to that is: he was home-schooled. I'll not touch that subject at all.
Well, I got to this page (aintitcool.com) and I started reading the comments. Let's backtrack some: I started reading these comments when I came to work about 08:45 and I was heavily into my hangover. So here's some of the comments I've hand-picked just for you, my dear readers:
Dragons, quite possibly one of the coolest creatures ever and yet nobody can make a decent movie with them. Come on, it can't be that hard! Reign of Fire was along the right track, just needed more dragons burning and eating stuff.
You got that right.Is the book not meant to be essentially Star Wars?
Oh yeah, baby!I'm just saying that you give a child a typewriter, all you get is goo-goo-ga-ga on the page. And some boggies. And some chocolate. Maybe some doo-doo too.
goo-goo is great, chill out!Trust me, this review goes much too easy on this piece of garbage. It sucks on every imaginable level. Some scenes are downright stolen from LOTR (poorly I might add) and the plot is so predictable, it's not even funny. How they persuaded actors like John Malkovich (who is on screen for like 2 minutes), Jeremy Irons and Robert Carlyle to be in this is beyond me. Must have been a nice paycheck. Fucking Whores! Believe me, it is as bad as Dungeons & Dragons.
Ouch. The D&D-movie was B A D.It is about a boy who is also a wizard who goes on a grand adventure. Also, there are dragons and magic and whatnot. The big money will soon be rolling in...
I can hear the parents go "Kaa-CHING!" in the background.Dun da da dun!!...SHIT!!...amazing that anyone thought that a movie/book capitilizing on the two best series' in fantasy would be anything but complete shit. I mean come on. A child that discovers hes a wizard. An older man TRYING to teach him. A massive dark army moving closer. A huge battle sequence. A FUCKING DRAGON. One of y best friends is 19 and is now and will be an author. SHE wrote a fantasy book that is probably the best thing ive read save lotr and harry potter and yet no one is there to blow the guys at paramount or wherever for her. Hmmmm...is it possible that all you actually need is a little tickle on your pickle and youll do anything.
WhAT?! You READ HARRY POTTER AND LIKED IT? Moron.LOTR had dragons......so their presence in a movie doesn't necessarily make it pwn teh suck. Although fire-breathing dragons have never been done well, maybe because the whole idea of that has always been basically gay. Mind you, so has all fantasy. And sci fi for that matter. And reality. While we're on the subject.
Guess what! LOTR had NO DRAGONS YOU RETARD.Well, that's all for today...and maybe this week. Also I know about people not being able to comment on my posts, I'll change bloggin-systems soon (if I'm not too lazy).
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Wii Huurt Mee! (aka. koew's Wii Judgement in 11 Short Sentences)
Monday, December 11th 2006 @ 4:14:20pm (Category: Games)
First, let me show you a picture that will make this long boring story a bit shorter:
In case you don't know, it's me holding a Wiimote. This picture was taken with my cellphone, taken by me on Friday 8th December 2006! Yeah it's the same day Nintendo Wii was released in Europe. eM's (my girlfriend) father had made an arrangement and got to buy one in one of the stores in Oslo before the stock was emptied later on the same day. So right after writing a long and hard post about Nintendo's new console, I got to try it for myself. So what do I think of Wii? Well, here it comes, in 11 very short sentences so you won't be bored.
koew's Wii Judgement in 11 Short Sentences
- The Wiimote felt good in the hand
- Bothersome requirement of setting up the sensor
- Else it was easy to set up and start
- Didn't say which way to put in the discs, so first time I failed
- Boring to play golf vs. other people with only one Wiimote (you had to don the strap, then off aso...)
- Boxing was tiresome and I won one then gave up playing it
- Only a few games for the Virtual Console, come on Nintendo, where's my Mario and Megaman?!!
- Zelda: Twilight Princess seemed nice, though activity is required while playing
- Call of Duty 3: FPS pwns on PC, not consoles
- Didn't say it had internal memory, so a SD memory card was bought (= money wasted)
- My hand was hurting after playing roughly two hours
Nintendo was right about the Wii revolutionizing (typo, sue me) the way of playing console games. Remember those days when it was raining outside and you thought "heck, let's have a good time playing some Super Mario World"? Well champ, those days are over. Now you can't sit back and relax. You always have to sit up, waving your hands one way or another just to get through the game. After I had played for two hours, my hand was hurting. So I had to turn in the Wiimote to someone else and let them have fun. I don't think Wii is for me, at least not right now. I'll stick to my dear computer. Can't write HTML/CSS on a Wii anyway, it's got to little space to write on. Also I bet the plastic is infumed with something poisonus so if a pen ever comes in touch with the box, a lethal gas will kill you. Maybe I'll update this post, or maybe I won't 'cause my right hand hurts.
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We will die of Wii!
Friday, December 8th 2006 @ 12:00:20pm (Category: Games)
It has been prophecied for centuries now. The gaming console Nintendo Wii, which prolly be sold out right after the start of today (already started), will be the destruction of us all. Yesterday I got to see four boxes (note: that was all the shop had got shipped due to low mass production) and two packages of nunchuck-controllers. I felt fear and big pearls of sweat when I saw the behind the counter, safely protected by two bodyguards and a fierce terrier.
This Wintendo Nii...or Nintendo Wii as it's "called" is what derived from Nintendo's "Project Revolution" which I thought was the best name ever for a gaming console besides from Atari. Atari kicks your ass. Ever since I got the sniff of Project Revolution, I've been following this with personal interest, especially after the word Virtual Console popped up. The Virtual Console is a great system which, as alot of stupid MS-nerds say, is a somewhat rip-off from Xbox 360's XBLA-system. But instead of re-doing all the games, Wii's Virtual Console delivers the game in the same shape they came in. What does that mean? Well in my case it fucking means Mario Brothers with the same graphics and sound as on the NES system! Hell-fucking-yeah! If I'm to buy a Wii, that'll be the first reason. I just want to play Mario Brothers again, nothing else.
But, the Wii is dangerous. Not only can you use the "Wiimote" (the main controller of Wii, which is shaped as a regular TV-remote) combined with the Nunchuck (am I the only one getting a perverted picture out of that word?) as a strangling-cord just like what ninjas got, but the strap which is around your hand is so weak that if you're a bit enthusiastic when playing, you could damage yourself or somebody else or something else. I'd like to quote a guy who commented on a YouTube-movie I recently saw:
I'm not actually 'for' the wii, so to speak. I would like to clear up the fact that you can use the wii controller both ways.. So it's not all physical 'in-your-face' i'm still sore from boxing at my friends house, lol.
The most interesting thing is that not only did someone start a webpage of the Dangerous Wiimote Straps (http://wiihaveaproblem.com/), BUT the Nintendo President Iwata have seen it and talked about it on a press conferance! What's better attention to the problems of Wii than that?But, when push comes to shove (...or Bush comes to the Show as I like to say it), the Tintendo Dwii is a new and very interesting gaming console. And it also has a very low cost, even at this day (Europe-launch today, 8th December). It costs only $409.17 (~2500 NOK) and it includes the highly popular game Wiisports (the game all not-broken TV's fear) too. But the system is far from completed.
I'll hold my hat and wait till a bit into 2007, then I'll have to consider Wii vs. PS3...if PS3 ever is released in Europe.
Links to check out:
http://wiihaveaproblem.com/ - TV/stuff-safety Manual before playing Wii.
http://www.smashmywii.com/ - Hilarious! A must for people with aggression behavior problems.
XBLA-system - Fuck MS, love Atari.
I'll fucking kill you if you don't read this whole post which I've secretly written at work.
Ohh my God you're SO DEAD!
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Real RPGing!
Wednesday, December 6th 2006 @ 11:37:31am (Category: News)
I got this movie-link by a co-worker who, like me, also used to play the dice-RPGs like Warhammer Fantasy Role Playing Game (WFRP) and Dungeons and Dragons (D&D). I consider myself a real pro as I've spent time as both a Game Master/Dungeon Master and a regular player in both of the RPGs.But this movie got me laughing. Hard. I had to shut myself up by strangling myself to not cause any
Farador D&D
The audio is in French, but with excellent English subtitles.
[koew rolls a d20]
[koew got a 20!]
[koew hits you for 42 damage with his Battle Axe of Supremacy]
[You die of the fatal blow]
[Reroll character?]
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Best Tenacious D trailer!
Sunday, December 3rd 2006 @ 1:40:48am (Category: News)
Saw this one when eMili, a friend and I went to see Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. It rocked, and so did this trailer:Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny - trailer
I just had to embed it! Looking forward to seeing the move^^
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Chad Vader - Day Shift Manager - episodes listing!
Friday, December 1st 2006 @ 11:45:04am (Category: News)
I got this from a co-worker today, man it's funny (although not as funny as Sagan om de Bannlysta). Picture this: Darth Vader. Ok? Now picture Darth Vader working as a Day Shift Manager in a local store. There you got Chad Vader - Day Shift Manager.- Chad Vader - Day Shift Manager (episode 1)
- Chad Vader - Day Shift Manager (episode 2)
- Chad Vader - Night Shift Manager (episode 3)
- Chad Vader - Night Shift Manager (episode 4)
May the force be with you.
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This might surprise you...
Thursday, November 30th 2006 @ 10:29:17pm (Category: Games)
(This was written for my gaming guild in World of Warcraft)I really hate to say this, but I'm quitting WoW.
Reason?
After I've started working fulltime (37,5+ hours/week), getting my own flat and actually started doing other things instead of gaming 24/7, I didn't find enough continious time to play. And also, yes, you do know this, I've got a girlfriend.
I did love WoW, especially the time I had with Faithless (and Drunken Brewers), after I had become level 60 I might add. I do love RPGs. I consider myself a big fan of the Final Fantasy-series (VII is the best, 'nuff said) and I like a good, smooth leveling system. Though I wasn't very fond of WoW's hours and hours of grinding after I'd paid for the game and then for the months. I know there's alot of people enjoying this part of the game, but I'm really into the raiding part of WoW since that was always what I was after. Raiding together with real life friends and new online friends, defeating big bosses and getting some fancy shining loot. Hours of hours of hours of farming gold and reputation wasn't the thing I thought of when I bought the game, but things and views change as you play, eh?
The part of raiding in WoW requires hours of continious gaming. This is common knowledge and I was looking forward to this when I first started raiding. It was a blast and I really enjoyed the first times of raiding in ZG with Drunken Brewers, even though we wiped several times at the Bat Boss...and I won't even mention Bloodlord! Though I do remember the time we actually had Funk kiting Snake Boss while the rest of us had wiped (Ooh, the laughter and screaming while he was running around the bonfire...I still chuckle at the thought).
I was playing with the thought of quitting already before Friskas told us he was taking a break, but I wanted to experience more end-game content. Like downing Ragnaros and Onyxia at first. Though everytime I participated in MC against Ragnaros (was with Faithless the first time we met the flamin' bastard), we never got him down. But down to 12% (if I'm correct) gave me a raised heartbeat and adrenaline enough to outlast a couple of 'em Duracell rabbits ^.^ I had lots of fun in WoW, especially with the guys/gals in Faithless.
Well, this is it. I'm leaving the World of Warcraft (aka. World of Addiction), the world of Azeroth. I'll not make a bigger thing of it although I've got a long list of things I'd like to say to some people. Without dragging into the Boring Zone, I'll start:
Hartigon/Tom: In all fairness, you are the Destroyer of Guilds.
Maddison/Jen: "And she said bla bla bla and I thought bla bla bla" - take care!
Gunders/Gunders: I won't forget the time you posted your Hunters Guide...all the people laughing while we raided ZG.
Aawarlock: Locktard.
Shadowfiller: Best healer ever.
Friskas: (I know you ain't here, still) I'll always let you touch me.
Baldur: Don't listen to Tom's racism even though he offers you beer.
Flimzy: You are selfish with your innervates!
Focku/Right: I don't get half of what you're saying - and I understand less of what I do get.
Wogster: You still up, grandpa?
Those who felt they've been left out: Maybe I don't remember or know you - just have the best time in Faithless!
Goodbye and good luck in the future with TBC.
- Baldymage signs out
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Michael 'Kramer' Richards lashing out on audience - also on video!
Wednesday, November 29th 2006 @ 4:00:06pm (Category: News)
Most of you (especially nerds/news crawlers/celebrity-fans aka "losers") know this but for those that don't, here it goes:Some weeks ago the actor Michael Richards, most famous for playing the character "Cosmo Kramer" in tv-series "Seinfeld", was performing a stand-up show at the Laugh Factory in West Hollywood. As expected when an actor from a comedy show tries to do stand-up, it didn't turn out to be the big hit after all for Richards. Some people in the audience (note: both African-American, were in the cheap seats) heckled poor Richards and instead of just dealing with it in a normal stand-up comedian fashion, he snapped. Maybe that's not the word for it. I'd say explode or let loose the dogs of war would be more natural to label such a nuclear bomb of hatred, offensive and racial words coming out of Richards' mouth. I seriously thought his head was going to pop during his tantrum...
Worst thing for him, was that someone filmed this with their mobile phone and sold it to TMZ who broadcasted it through the internet.
When I first read about this in the newspaper some weeks ago, I didn't think anything really serious about it. But after I saw it my stomach twitched a little. Michael Richards lost credits from the koew.net Island. He was a genius as Cosmo Kramer, but after Seinfeld ended, Michael Richards is the only one who haven't really managed anything afterwards...though I bet he wouldn't need to do anything for a living because of the Seinfeld-DVDs are selling as a bucket of water in a fire.
Enough talk, here's the links:
"Kramer's" Racist Tirade -- Caught on Tape @ TMZ.com
CNN's coverage with additional interview footage and commentaries
Michael Richards outburst @ GoogleVideo (this may be removed if someone reports it for offensive language)
I'm still at work...and I fucking should be as I'm not a millionaire.
Have fun, be shocked. That's life with caffeine.
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Maddox has written (and there was much rejoicing)!
Tuesday, November 14th 2006 @ 5:35:40pm (Category: News)
I'd just finished writing the whole post when I suddenly hit backspace and was redirected to the login-page. Needless to say I lost the whole post and while I'm sitting here, at the office in furious-mode, I'll write it all over again.The Pirate of Hatred known as Maddox (
Maddox's "I'm tired of Sony's bullshit.". It's been a while since he did anything to his webpage, but it seems he might start up the engines and pour shit into our heads again. Finally.
On the subject which he's writing about, Sony fucking up and PSP sucking, I agree. Sony have focused too much on the PSP graphic and other media-abilities instead of making the games have some decent depth and gameplay. I'm a big fan of Advance Wars (I and II) for the Game Boy Advance and I truly believe Sony have something to learn from Nintendo. Advance Wars fucking rocks, there ain't any game worthy naming for the PSP...
Also I'd like to show people this: Commujism - The People's Porn Site. "This website is seemingly created to make fun of the idiots who use the internet solely for porn." (Source: Biography :: The Best Fansite in the Universe)
Have fun discovering Maddox and the Best Page in the Universe while you're at it!
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